“Sometimes I thank god…. For unanswered prayers…. Remember when you’re talking to the man upstairs. And just because he may not answer, doesn’t mean he don’t care… some of gods greatest gifts- are unanswered prayers….”- Garth Brooks
I began thinking of this tonight, when an old flames mother called to alert me of the recent happenings in her son’s life. – It was true… he was just as lost as he was 10 years prior. All the world had changed, half of “us” had grown up… ME. I shouldn’t be surprised. After all the psychic did tell my best friend, that he had altered fate by not being able to grow up- yet still it baffles me that anyone can be so delusional. We like to call it the “peter pan syndrome”.
(We as in, me and my best friend.)
It is unfortunate I know several “peter’s”- her and I dated two of the most notorious peter pans I’ve ever met- and rightfully so- at 32 and 33, they are roommates living this college dorm life. Now let’s give a little credit to one.. her ex at least has his shit together financially… but completely whack when it comes to relations- he prefers “relation-shits” far more than he does a genuine relationship and from what I have heard- his family is desperate for him to settle down and act his age- but he refuses to get “wifed up”. His pattern is the same.. Year after year… boy meets girl, boy falls in love.. Girl falls in love.. Girl wants more, growth, marriage… girl gets dumped. I’d say it was sad, but then I realize EVERY single girl went through the same thing, the only thing it is sad for is him….. the girls should all join together and have a BIG PARTY to celebrate their winnings!!- they didn’t get stuck with a non-committal, relationship whore, cheater ! ( this deserves at least a high five). On the flip side, and for the record- I like this guy- he’s fun and nice and all that jazz… but the peter pan syndrome is specific to nice guys I feel like… in fact they are so nice and charismatic- it would be hard to not like them at all.. I actually shuttered and almost deleted this paragraph I like her ex so much, - the fact that he may hate me for calling him a douche bag –who now has to seek botox in order to date the 22 year olds he will now have to date bc the older bitches think he’s a douche bag – well… that’s just reason enough to consider not typing any more tonight…
However- one must not filter when in the mood to express =) so.. more I go….
Anyway… the peter pan syndrome…. Ahhhh… yes…. so my ex – whom at one time (several times) I thought I may never get over – has yet again proved to be just as childish as ever- with his delusional dreams of grander and crazy plans that he never follows through on- I simply cannot fathom what in the hell is wrong with this guy- there is no concept of reality. Let me put it this way – if you have been in need of a new car for a long time, and unable to afford it- and then you think your first time back on the road is with a BMW- you might be a PETER…(and delusional.) If you tell the world you have changed, or that you really care about someone, yet you screw them over, or allow them to hurt over you- you might be PETER… if your 33 and unable to hold a steady relationship of any kind that actually means something with anyone of any sort of real life experience… you might be a PETER.
The peter pans of the world, are guys who are over 30- and refuse to act their age. In their mind they fist pump with jersey shores finest, worried about t-shirt time far more than saving money to buy a home or having anything to show for themselves. High Class Possessions, like a car, are far more important than finding love and a partner, starting a family, or growing their career. They judge happiness off the finer things, and in the end, neither of these guys know who they are – they both are lost. (one way more than the other..way more!!!)
I believe true happiness is when you stop caring what others think, you love you for the true person you are inside, and you are content with knowing that what God gave you – is enough. When you love that you- you find someone who loves that you too… and you’re not looking for the next best thing
I know both these guys have had opportunities several times- they have both found girls who saw through the vain exterior… and found the real them.. and ya know what… LOVED ANYWAY, that’s a true statement because I was one of them. I can remember being on the other side though which I have written about and shared before… not understanding the game of love and all its twists and turns. The why’s and why not’s, the “you will regret this” and that… and most importantly the trials of heartbreak and realizing, you know.,… maybe they just won’t grow up….. for any woman, this is a tough one, bc we can all admit we believe we can be the one to change this. We cant….WE couldn’t… and at this point after stories from his mother, I’m not sure anyone can. He has joked he is the real life George Clooney of his time… and ya know what.. I FINALLY BELIEVE THAT.
I look back at all the prayers I have had in the last ( too many ) few years,,, and I can honestly say , my unanswered prayers were my biggest gift. I grew up, I made a life for myself, and I’m happier than I ever thought I could be. I never thought I would be so thankful for an unanswered prayer, but to sit here tonight and know this person who I thought at one time, hung the moon, may never even step foot on the roof of a building…. Well…let’s be honest- Hanging the moon, is just a long shot… and I’m not one for fairytales.
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