I think their comes a time in every persons life when they wake up realizing things are exactly how they should to be . Maybe things didnt work out as you planned, or hoped, but maybe they worked out better. I have a reached a point where i am so proud of who i have become.
This took me what feels like an eternity to get here. From broken relationships, put downs, let downs, and things just not working out as "'planned" - I have been confused for so long. Chase made me hate "me" for awhile. I felt crazy, and not worth anything. (A major set back for the girl who once thought nothing could stop her from achieving her goals.) I spent two yrs fighting to get back to where I was before that relationship, loving someone who put me down because i no longer felt worthy of being loved by anyone who truly was better. I Have let people (men) walk all over me, and treat me like a doormat while remaining loyal to their hopes, their desires, and their goals. In all reality I never lost sight of what I KNOW about myself... MY strong personality, the intensity and will to succeed and win at everything, the desire to reach far and above the rest, yet I still managed to push it behind me, settling for lost loves, crappy career choices and no sense of self.
I sit here tonight. And although i have been so happy about my new relationship standings and the direction its going, I no longer will sit back and wait on a man to make me happy. I make me happy. This feeling has seriously empowered me for about an hour. I am me, and i am great with that. I am one of the strongest people i know, and one of the most loyal, and although that has gotten me in trouble in the past, I know that finding a woman like me would be amazing for any guy looking for a good girl.
I refuse to settle for a man who is unsure of who he is. (after all , I think its clear- i have dated that one before) Im moving on with my life with or without my new guy or any guy for that matter, and it's really up to him (or them) to figure out if they are going my direction or their own. For the first time EVER I am so content saying that and taking in the possibility that someone maybe isnt ready to catch me if I fall. Its amazing to look yourself in the eye and know your life is what you make it, and no one interfering with that will ever change your happiness with yourself.
