Love is a funny thing. One day you’re in it – one day you’re not in it. One day you’re in it… one day the object of your affections is not in it and leaves you, left in it… chasing to get them back in it.. it’s like a tug of war. It’s a wonder when you hear of couples who have been married for 50 years- that they ever made it.
in this day and age- the falling in and out of love, the hearts that break, around me,,, how does anyone make it more than 6 MThs? Much less two years.. or 10?
I thought –as we have seen in the last year- that I would be getting married. And now that I have had a taste of the single life I am not sure I want that either – contrary to popular belief- when I say that – a taste of the single life”… its not what you think…I am NOT out there dating and sowing some sort of wild oat at 29 I missed at 21. Trust me. I sowed them over the years! If anything I am less into dating now than I ever was. I actually repel dating. ( boy! I sound awesome don’t i… ??? Totally, the kind of “gal” ya just can’t wait to meet at the bar!) But it’s all truth. Truth be told. Dating is annoying. I have absolutely no desire to do it. I find Dateline to be more enticing on a Friday night than a date, if that tells you anything. I am simply OVER THE fall in love , get your heart broken time and time again crap that happens every time and done taking chances on it. I took a chance this last few times … well really I took a chance my entire life, and I don’t feel it benefited me in the end, at all. I was left the one hurting- and in the end, I now am left finally sticking up and saying FUCK THAT. its not fair.
Lifes not fair –true- .again
I really don’t know any more what I want. I have a fear of being single forever… I want children. So this is scary. And sure… the celebrities are adopting left and right.. but I do love the idea of a family. Its cliché to say normal… but I’m saying it anyway- this is MY BLOG. I SAY WHAT I WANT. I want a normal family. Its SLIGHTLY an issue though when you refuse to date .. to meet someone … how the hell am I ever going to meet someone , ever going to marry and have the white picket fence, or beaver cleaver lifestyle I so desperately want ? How will I ever be a desperate housewife on wisteria lane with this hateful I hate dating attitude if I’m not willing to alter my thoughts about dating in general???? I’m stumped too.. trust me I think about this pretty much very day. I should likely stop obsessing about what I obsess about for starters…..
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