Who was i kidding? Peace with my soul? puh-leaseee... i must've written that on some sentimental quest for getting over love.
Clearly when i wrote that I was sober. Now i am not.
My outlook today is a little different now. Although im still content with my decisions to see him... i do miss him now more than i did before. That last night together did what it was supposed to, helped me forget about Mr jerkfaces text dumping and give me my "groove back".... But did it help to give me the closure i needed with him like i was spouting off about in the previous blog? ha... instead it gave me the realization of what i loved before... ( uhhh a duhh moment for all of you readers im sure...)
well bite me.
It's 1am.I had a few too many cocktails tonight, and I miss him. I miss him because this is the first day of reality ...REAL real reality . the reality i cant escape. It's the real, raw , in my face, this is really happening... time is ticking , and hes really moving on, reality. It really stares me in the face after a night with him (which i never thought would ever happen again) and drinking.. and quite frankly.. it has an ugly face. ( kinda like mr jerk faces ex girl friend. - but hey thats neither here nor there). The fact that i must really let this man go has come. I cant hate. I cant love. I cant even think about it anymore.
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I was in the mall shopping for a picture frame for a relatively close friend of mine. She had just come home from her honeymoon and we were getting together this coming weekend to catch up and look at her photos . As I was walking into the store I made eye contact with her husband, surprisingly he approached me and we began speaking to one another. Now, I had only met him about three or four times before because after they met she stopped seeing many of her friends as with most new relationships. It was a brief dating period for them, in fact, they were married within five months of meeting each other. He was very pleasant, in fact he was overly nice and was leading into conversations that were making me feel a little uneasy. He started asking personal questions about my relationships and made an inquiry about me going out with a newly married man and how he could really show me a good time. He asked for my cellphone number and would not stop until I gave in, "WHAT A FOOL I AM" Now I don't know what to do, I can't tell my her because it will end my friendship for sure and I can't possibly go to her home and pretend this didn't happen. I confided with another close friend of mine and she told me about this site http://urajerk.com/ At first I thought is was just another one of those sites that pop up here and there but I checked it out. I must say I like it and thats why I am spreading the word. I was able to send him a few cards with some personal anonymous messages, he will know they are from me, but no one else will. I love this site because I can at least tell him that he is a F#%//ng JERK. Has anyone else gone through this crap before? How can men be such assholes? I mean JERKS!!!
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