so my old boss and friend "swerve" called me last night all distraught over some chick hes seeing. Now over the years i have heard him sweat many of women, and play many of them as well. He is one of those guys that is all about a girl, then over it ( ha, like many men) but this time he seemed really upset. He starting telling me about how he had finally changed his player ways and was really making the effort to show this girl he was ready for long term... only .. as he was telling her how much he cared about her- her phone went dead... how convenient right?
well if that had happened to me, i would have some sarcastic thing to assume like that. I'd give the guy ten minutes to locate his phone charger or the nearest pay phone.. or later i would mail him the 35 cents to call someone who cared.
so heres the thing.. why is it that women want this fairytale of a guy who will sweep them off there feet, and be faithful and give them the white picket fence life .. when they run from it the moment a glimpse of good comes there way? Im guilty of it myself. i think denise richards said it best on a recent episode of "its complicated"... everyone wants there single girl friend to find some great NORMAL guy who will treat them like the queen they are... but the reality is harsh. " wtf is normal anyway? normal to me is a bad guy.. and i cant help it i like bad guys" ( something like that- lets not be graphic here about what she really said about the male genitalia)
I feel this way. Wtf is normal? I struggle with this. There are plenty of fabulous kind good hearted guys out there whom never catch my eye bc im too busy "chasing" the bad ones... it's the challenge guys. the ones that keep us wondering... "he loves me , he loves me not"... or why the hell didnt he come home. ,... (sick i know) the truth is some women- myself- feed on the pain and the drama of the unknown.
the good news for the guys who are that nice guy... when these women grow the f&%k up... your the guy they want ... until then... leave the young at heart "chaser" and find your own picket fence.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
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OK, I have a little bit of perspective to offer here... Women have to learn how to play the "chaser" type of man. Now let me clarify, "chaser" doesn't have to necessarily mean the scummy, cheating man whores. It describes the guy who doesn't want to be got, you know, not ready to settle down.
My fiance and I joke that I did it to him. We say that he was like this happy little gazelle (read: single man) frolicking about with out a care in the world. Then here I come along, a lioness in a gazelle outfit, and before he knew it BAM! he was "caught." See he had not too much before gotten out of a serious relationship, so he really wasn't looking to "commit," but he said that he know he too good of a girl to let go just because of timing logistical issues.
Let me be clear, a BAD man, you can not and SHOULD NOT WANT to change. In their core, they need to be decent, honest and ethical. Even the best of us have "human" moments and nobody's perfect BUT the underlying intentions should be good.
OK, now to the praticality of how to, lets call it, Catch a Gazelle. Us women have to learn and to "play it cool." Now, by play it cool I don't mean act unintersted, I mean act like a "gazelle" also. You MUST, and believe me it's fighting tooth and nail every bit of your natural "chick" reactions,be a "guy" and not in the prototypical Sam from SATC way. You must teach yourself to exhibit and be the laid back, charming, down to earth, un-hyper-emotional YET stunning girl that guys not only don't mind being around BUT LOVE to be around. Get in on a friendly level, b/c the "friend zone" rules pretty much strictly apply to men. From there you let it grow and NEVER INITIATE the "what are we" convo. Even if a guy is really that into you, they are VERY easily spooked, uncannily like a gazelle.
OK, that's enough for know, i have to get me butt back to work. If you're intersted and like what you're hearing let me know... I'd be happy to elaborate more:)
Cheers and happy hunting;)
see this unhyper unemotional thing we are supposed to fake to catch the chaser is where i struggle.. and bottom line.. when i dont know which direction the bus is going i feel i need to pull over and ask.
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