fabulous....

i saw this and it got me thinking tonight. ... just how fantastic i am. And i mean that as unconceited as possible.

Truth be told.. most of us are insecure about things. I am one of those people that come off as miss confident Usa, and then when you get to the heart of me, the real me , you'd find out I can be percieved ( by a cheater) as one of the most insecure people on earth. Chase, although i chased him, was very insecure himself. Probably stemming from childhood issues i would imagine, but rather than dealing he turned them on me. In the end i knew every single thing HE THOUGHT was wrong with me... whether it be i drink to much, i like myspace too much, my thighs are chubby, I am "psycho'" ( just laugh), etc etc etc. I left that relationship wondering who the hell i was , and if there was anything about me good at all. In my head i know im fabulous... but it hurts when someone you love tells you you are not worth anything.

Then in my current relationship, ( read "wtf" blogs) i have sat back trying to change my communication desires and relationship wants AND NEEDS to fit the mold of what this guy may or may not want. i thought about it today while driving home from an uneventful day at work. Why in the hell am i always compromising ME for someone else? Guys i mean.. I definatly do this. I change what they dont like to make them happy. I sit back and cater to their emotions ( or lack of) to make them comfortable. Only to make myself sooooooo uncomfortable that i am filled with worry about the entire dating process. It shouldnt be that way.

I am fabulous. And the sooner i can handle "all of that" .. the sooner i will find the man that agrees.