chase, plus one.

so .. "chase" has moved on... which i get. In all honesty i wouldn't have it any other way but sometimes my heart and head get the best of me and i revert back to that "why wasn't it me " thought process. We have all been there. The guy can be the biggest ass on the planet ( and he is) but we still wonder, how is this new girl getting the guy i wanted to love her the way i wanted him to love me. How is he so nice to her and able to even imagine his lying cheating ass ever being faithful to anyone enough to feel trapped in a serious relationship. Doesn't he get that this will end his player ways?
They are moving in together. heart wrenching. like a knife, and salt.. and then theirs my wound. wide open ready for the next stab. Supposedly she is in nursing school and 'chase" is going to the police academy to be the biggest jerk of a cop Florida has to offer. But still... there is a part of me that sits back thinking.. "isn't that just fucken great!!!!????!!!! The cute little couple being do-gooders together" .... and here's the key element to the "oh whoa is me " i face daily... she is not only hot.. she is playboy hot. Knock out. probably one of the hottest girls I've ever seen.. so ... The love of my life has now moved on, and not only moved on, moved in, with the hottest girl ever. Isn't that some shit? your ex moves on with someone hotter than you!?????...( go ahead .. twist the knife. i can take it. )
not only did he put me through hell ... now he is the one who is happy and in love .. and i am the one still somewhat waiting for my ship to come in... and starting to lose hope.